My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
