why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
