no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
