My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
