so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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