You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
