best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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