have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
