Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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