my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
