Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
