Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
