Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
