Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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