Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
