You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
