Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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