does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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