dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
