is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your cock deserves a montage
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need water and some morals
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
