Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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