Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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