Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
