I am puke
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
