so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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