I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
