we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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