Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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