I smell stomach acid.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
