Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
