Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
