Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
