I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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