If that was your dad, he is hot
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he was CRYING into my vagina
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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