What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
