How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
handjob tips. give me some.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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