I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
is it fun? or sober?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
