I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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