It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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