I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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