I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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