Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
