Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
