the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
