I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
