I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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