our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
