I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
