The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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