I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
