You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
