We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
