good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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