I got her a Nickelback box set.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
