I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Shame - the story of my life.
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