i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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