More tranny stories later!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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