i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
