ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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