real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
