i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
