this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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