Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
kristin has been a bad kristin
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
