I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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