hotel room ftw
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
