I like to think it a success when the cops are called
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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