oh god the rape fog is back!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
