I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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