good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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