Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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