Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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