I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
